Thank god I don't work in the call centrey bit of my company, I'd imagine most of the calls they get go like this:

Customer: Hello, I've broken my phone
Us: Right, what's wrong with it?
Customer: The toast won't come out
Us: What?
Customer: Yes, it's stuck, it won't toast, it's just white crumbly bread
Us: Why is there bread in your phone?
Customer: I'm hungry
Us: So why did you put bread in your PHONE?
Customer: So that I could eat some toast
Us: What happens when you try to make a phone call?
Customer: Um, I don't know, let me try it. Wait someone's on the phone, let me call you back when they're off the phone
Us: OK

*two minutes later*

Customer: Hello, me again, sorry the person on the phone was me
Us: You're using the phone with the bread in it?
Customer: Yes, of course, I only have one phone, what else am I going to use?
Us: The phone with the bread in it?
Customer: Exactly.
Us: Exactly?
Customer: Yes
Us: Ow, my brain
Customer: So, how am I going to do my toast?
Us: Do you own a toaster?
Customer: A what?
Us: A toaster. To make toast.
Customer: Well yes, that's what I'm using. Are you in India?
Us: No. And you're not, you're jamming chunks of bread into your phone. Where is the bread now?
Customer: It's back on the plate, I had to take it out so I could phone you back after I got off the phone.
Us: So is the phone still broken?
Customer: No, but it will be when I stop talking to you again and put the bread back in. It's just not getting brown though!
Us: Stop putting bread in your phone.
Customer: Right, ok. And then how am I going to make my toast?
Us: Buy a toaster.
Customer: A what?
Us: Maybe use the grill? Do you have one of those on your oven?
Customer: I think so, I'll have to wait until after Cash In The Attic though.

*EDIT* Ten minutes later I had the following phone call. This is actually real, only identifying details have been changed. (I just wanted to sound dramatic).

Me: Hi there my name is Katey I am calling from this company about the *blah* pod. Has the extension been installed ok?
Him: Ummm the what?
Me: The extension? It's like a phone line.
Him: I don't know really, how would I be able to tell?
Me: An engineer turned up and put a wire in there?
Him: Oh right. Hmm.
Me: Did a handset arrive as well?
Him: I don't know
Me: Can you go and have a look?
Him: I'm in the pod now
Me: Sorry... you're in the pod? Now?
Him: Yep
Me: And you're on the phone to me?
Him: Yep
Me: So there's a phone in there?
Him: Yep... ohhhhh! Yes there's a phone and an extension!
Me: And it's working ok by the sounds of it
Him: Oh, wait, I don't know if it is
Me: We're on the phone to each other. It's fine.
Him: Yeah I suppose it is isn't it. Great, thanks!