Eek, Nicola can't come to smokefest/hippie funtimes anymore. I totally understand why though but I'm having such a big freakout.

After a few weeks ago I don't function particularly well with crowds of people I don't know so tonight was going to be a bit of a big step for me, I guess that was part of the reason why I was so excited. I'm sure I'll be fine once I get there, find (I can't remember his nickname so will make one up) The Boobinator and meet up with everyone, but now I feel all scared and upset about it.

I know, when I'm on my deathbed, I'll remember the happy funtimes in my life and not the crappy bits inbetween but the crappy bits really are so crappy aren't they.

Cunty McCuntface's manager as moved him so that he is basically next to me, with an aisle in between us, in full view of each other. His manager also knows what he did. What the fuck is she thinking. I watched him moving his stuff this morning feeling so sick and sad.