I am so weirded out by the text messages I got last night from YB. As much as I know that he was just shitfaced, desperate for a shag and looking for "any port in a storm", the fact I have to see him daily after being asked things like "what do I have to say to get you into bed?" and receiving offers such as "drink more with me, we'll fool around, I'm up for it, what do you think?" makes me want to hide under my bed.

I was asked yesterday by someone who'd been on YB and I's training course whether or not there was any truth to the rumours (!! what fucking rumours!) surrounding the nature of our friendship. I laughed, then when I realised he was serious I recoiled in abstract horror.

Sometimes you meet people you would absolutely never want to sleep with in a bajillion years. It's not because he's unattractive, or a shitty person, and I don't know WHY I just would never want to go there. YB is a hot guy, who is hilarious, and truly one of the nicest men around. But... it's HIM. Dear christ.

I kept telling him to delete his sent items, and then pleading with him to delete them, because this is not a conversation I ever want to have with someone who was becoming a really good friend. "I'm sorry for offering to nail you last night" "That's ok, I'm sorry for telling you to go home and jerk off".

Anyway, on a random note, the veins in my foot are super super blue and super super prominent and it's really freaking me out. I hate feet, the other day I was sitting perfectly still and something in my foot was twitching under the skin and I nearly threw up. Why am I such a weirdo?! I don't even hate other people's feet, I just wish mine would fall off. Yeah I'd be a cripple but I wouldn't vomit every time time they moved.